So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize