So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize