we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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