I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
