i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
