goodnight i made you a song goodbye
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
try to milk me bitch
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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