too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
