you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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