What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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