lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
