Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
