K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
