You can't motorboat a personality
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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