11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Randomize
