I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
