dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
