All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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