I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
