So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
