this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
