Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
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