So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
