oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He passed out mid-signature
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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