When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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