If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Floor bacon is actually really good
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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