I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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