dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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