ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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