just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
