I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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