i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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