the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
