The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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