I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Randomize
