All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize