You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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