hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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