i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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