in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
