I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
