I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
