Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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