my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
