called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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