If i come over, it means nothing
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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