That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
