Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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