so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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