Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize