I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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