this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I could have mohawked her pubes.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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