I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
