She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
