btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I wish i was in the wii world.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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