I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
