There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
