y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
