The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize